Wednesday, January 30th .....

The ship docked in Akaroa this morning and we had decided we would get off. Since the earthquake which devastated Christchurch, cruise lines have been diverting to Akaroa to avoid offending the sensibilities of the paying customers, many of who are Americans who are uncomfortable about meeting human misery face to face.

First, though, we go for the Horizon Court for breakfast. As I am heading for the cereals, a young man slides in front of me. He has a shopping bag with him and furtively starts to pack individual boxes of Sugar Frosties and Fruit Loops into the bag. As I watch, he stashes away a dozen or more boxes before he scurries away. Another passenger stands, mouth wide open in amazement. I raise an eyebrow to a steward who shrugs and says, that’s the second time this morning and the same yesterday. The woman with her mouth open (probably a retired school teacher) wonders why he is not ‘spoken to’.

Marilyn imagines he spends all day in his cabin and these are his supplies so he doesn’t have to come out for meals.

We were tendered into Akaroa which is always fun and what a pretty little town it is. Because many of the early settlers were French there is still a French flavor in some of the street names and the names of businesses. It didn’t take long to stroll around the few streets and we lined up to go back to the ship. We knew that if we had waited another hour or so, the queue would have been enormous and we wanted to miss that. The Sun Princess was also in port and our crew carefully checked our cruise cards to make sure that we didn’t get any ring-ins.

We arrived back in time for Afternoon Trivia, which we won. I’m amazed at how seriously some people take it. The Trivia Queen (whose real name is Sandra) got into an argument with the crew member running the show about which is the world’s largest snake. The answer was anaconda but Sandra insisted it was the Reticulated Python which she had seen on a nature program. Who cares?

Two good shows in the evening: Karen Beckett again with a different show and Dan Riley (again) who sang a terrific song to the tune of My Way.

What is a man, without a wife, to tell him how to live his life.

What is a king, without his queen, to tell him when the light turns green.

And ‘I did it HER WAY!’



The late quiz was about movie posters. The poster was shown with pertinent information blanked out and we had to guess what they were. 30 question and all our clever friends had abandoned us and all the posters were American and not always the same as the ones we remember from Australia. The winning team got 28 ½ and we got 11.

Tuesday, January 29th …..


In his welcome yesterday, the Captain commented that the passengers represented 39 countries and that there were more Tasmanians than might be expected. What a strange comment! We found out this morning that it was a dig at the Tasmanian bighead I mentioned earlier. It seems he has sold his house in Tassy and now lives on the ship, apparently driving everybody mad.

We were told this by the Trivia queen who claims to win 90% of the competitions. Until this cruise, she and the loudmouth were in the same team but they’ve had a falling-out and her only ambition now is to beat him. We are just pawns in her wider objective but we’re on track as we won again this morning. This woman and her husband are full-time cruisers too, having had 30 cruises last year and are currently in a four-cruise back-to-back combination. The funny thing is she doesn’t seem to answer many questions and is often wrong when she does. Doing three quizzes per day for week after week means that questions are repeated from time to time which is where she has her advantage.

This morning’s quiz was certainly the hardest yet and our team did well to get 15 out of 20. Our nearest competition was the Tasmanian and his team with 11. We’re getting quite a collection of pens, bulldog clips and mini-torches.

For a change, we went to Carpet bowls. We had a single bowl each and were knocked out. It might have taken 30 seconds to decide the winner and that was it! Anyway, the weather was, once again, beautiful so we had several walks on the deck. The ship was quieter than usual because we were docked in Picton and most of the passengers had half-day trips to the local wineries.

The afternoon quiz was at 4.15; our team is always 6 people but not always the same 6. The questions were read out by Marvin, a very camp Filipino with an appalling accent. Again, the question were not easy and I had to give in to the majority on one question which I knew was right, but we won again. That’s four times in a row and it’s not nearly as interesting as it was at the beginning.

Tonight’s show was Do You Wanna Dance which was great. The highlight was the group doing an Irish Dance which always brings the house down. One of the male singers has a great baritone voice but sports a Clark Gable moustache. It has to go.

Another great meal in the Vivaldi Restaurant, then we tried another quiz. This time it was to identify faces with some of the features blotted out. Our team had a couple of new faces, two kiwis from Wellington. We did alright, scoring 25 out of a possible 37. The winners had 32 but we were quite happy.

Monday, January 28th .....

We both slept well until I became aware of Marilyn wandering around the cabin. It’s 9.19, she said. One of the issues of having an inside cabin is that the sun doesn’t penetrate and evoke the primitive instinct to get up. Marilyn is reveling in the fact that she is regularly waking before me. How things have changed. I suspect things will get back to normal when we get home and the first one up makes the tea.

Everybody has left the ship again to check out the delights of Wellington. Our list of activities is not long as we want to spend a few hours reading. First call is coffee in the Lobby Bar and then Morning Trivia in Club Fusion. Again, there are only about a dozen people there and we’re invited to join a group which we call Mixed Nuts. The questions are particularly tricky but we end up winning by 1 point. It’s a mixed blessing having a group of 6 strangers. Clearly they know things that we don’t but you sometimes have to give in on answers you’re not sure about. I thought that Spain had won the World Cup but another fellow insisted it was Portugal. He also thought that Multiple Personality Disorder was one of the top three psychiatric complaints but we suspected that Depression was a better answer … and we were right. However, we still won and that’s all that matters.

We missed Carpet Bowls, Pictionary, Shuffleboard and Golf Chipping into the pool but lined up for Afternoon Tea again. We need to hurry that because there’s another Trivia challenge at 4.15. I also picked up yesterday the first sets of clues for a cruise-long Scavenger Hunt so we need to make time for that. How many lifeboats do we have? and Where is the Cruise Director from? Are just a couple of the 20 questions in Round One. Round Two wants us to collect 20 signatures from an officer with three stripes and one of the dancers, and so on. It’s starting to sound too hard.

Afternoon tea was terrific and we won the trivia – on a tie break. The tie-break question was, how long was the longest Great White Shark ever caught. None of us knew but Marilyn thought it was 33 ft. The right answer was 37 ft, we were closer, so we won. One of the other women in the team says whatever team she is in wins 90% of the time. It must be nice to be so clever.

On our last time on the Diamond, we had discovered a little bar right at the back of the ship. Being out of the way, it was quiet so we spent an hour there eating cheese and sampling wines. They serve their wines in threes, on a special rack. Marilyn had the whites, of course, and I had the reds. The feature entertainer tonight was a comedian who played spoofs of popular songs – pretty funny and well-received.

We hurried dinner to get to another Trivia event. This time they showed stills from movies with the actors removed. Our team got about half of them right but the winners had 16. Still, it was good fun. It’s 10.26 now, and we’ve had enough. We’ve eaten well, drunk some nice wines and won trivia twice. What more can you ask of life?

Sunday, January 27th .....

This was a sea-day, when we didn’t go into a port. In fact, there are just 8 ports in the 14 days so we have quite a few days undisturbed. The crew work a bit harder on these days, organizing more activities with more passengers attending. We sat down last night and circled about 10 activities we might try to take part in, in between meals, snacks, cocktails, and so on.

Of course, we slept in so that cut out the first couple of ideas. We managed to catch the end of a Zumba session in the Atrium which featured many ladies of a certain age misbehaving. The Gangnam Style dance was particularly attractive. We had decided to miss breakfast because Marilyn wanted to go to an Opal Event which offered a prize to a lucky passenger (at 11 o’clock) and I went in search of an Asian Soup Station which was to be available from 11.30. I haven’t found it yet, but I did discover they had set up a carvery next to one of the pools. I’ve never seen a bigger lump of beef (it must have come from Texas).

Marilyn didn’t win the opals so we consoled ourselves with a Pub lunch in one of the dining rooms. Before we went, we anticipated what would be on the menu: bangers and mash, fish and chips, ploughman’s lunch, steak and kidney pie. We were spot-on, except we overlooked the bread and butter pudding. It was interesting to hear the Americans ask, what exactly is bangers and mash?

We had an invitation to the Captain’s Cocktail Party for returning passengers; there were so many, it was held in the Princess Theatre. It is really no more than another chance for introducing the Future Sales Consultant and to show a video of their new ship, Royal Princess, to be commissioned in June. Every cruise line is into marketing; Princess is probably no worse than any other.

Before the captain’s do, we had to enroll for the Princess Choir. There are 33 of us and we have 6 rehearsals of songs like Blame it on the Boogie and Blue Bayou before a performance on the last night. There’s no structure, like Sopranos and Tenors; we just stand in a bunch and belt it out.

Tonight was Formal which is great fun. Cynics might say that it is just an excuse to take more photographs to sell to the unwary, but we enjoy getting dressed up. I discovered I had left my cufflinks at home so Marilyn scurried along to the shops to get another pair while I struggled with my dinner shirt. Shock, horror! When I had done up the last button, I noticed some smears of blood on the pristine front. Somehow, I had opened up an old scar and left my mark in the worst possible place. Happily, Marilyn had packed a spare shirt, so a hurried bit of ironing saved the day. Sometimes I wonder how I would cope without a minder.

Dinner tonight was in the Vivaldi Dining room, which we frequented on our last cruise on the Diamond and we felt immediately at home. We’ve booked the same table at the same time for the rest of the cruise.

You’ll notice that I’m not posting photographs. At 79c a minute, it’s too expensive to use the ship’s wi-fi for such frivolities. When we get home, I’ll update each post with appropriate images.

It’s Wellington tomorrow.

Saturday, January 26th .....

It’s odd to be on an American ship, sailing out of New Zealand and to be aware that it’s Australia Day. We’re told that there are just over 300 Australians on board, out of a total passenger list of 2700, but Australia Day is still acknowledged by a display of decorated cakes and platters. The cakes are large and clumsy with amateurish decoration but the thought is appreciated. I particularly liked the platter which left out Bass Strait, effectively incorporating the rest of Australia into Tasmania.

We went to our first trivia competition. Just before it started, we were having coffee and were being ‘entertained’ by a loudmouth passenger behind us who was big-noting himself because of his frequent voyages and his supposed special relationship with the captain (Captain Bob!). The loudmouth turned up again at the trivia. There were only two teams. We roped in another couple to assist us and the loudmouth had five others. He was certainly well-known because the staff member running the show sat down with his team to read out the questions. Corruption? No, I don’t think so.

Anyway, we came second but the odd thing was, of the 10 passengers taking part, five were from Tasmania, including the loudmouth! As Michael Veitch used to say, ‘There’s a message there for us all.’

Dinner tonight was at the Savoy. Again, very acceptable but the most boring couple in the world were sitting at the table next to us and bashed our ears all night. Marilyn switched off early and left it to me to keep up our end of the conversation but, in reality, the woman, Liz, was quite happy to talk about her operations and the bloke, Kevin, was desperate to tell anyone who would listen how he has worked out a way that Princess just about pays them to travel. If it’s so easy, why isn’t everyone doing it?

It’s uncanny that the two most significant conversations we’ve had on board have been with boring Australians, and there are only 300 of us. Maybe, there’s some kind of magnetic attraction that throws people of the same nationality together. If so, I’d like to take something to disable it.

We were in Tauranga today. We didn’t bother to get off; we’ve been here before and we weren’t in the mood for touristy things. With over 1300 Americans on board, there are plenty of people to fill the buses and add to the local economy, so we stayed on board and enjoyed the more relaxed program of activities. Afternoon Tea in the Savoy Dining Room was a hit but I’m glad it’s not on every day as I’d be waddling off the boat in Sydney. A local maori group also performed in the afternoon and there was not an empty seat in the theatre.

The performer at tonight’s entertainment was a singer from Perth and she was terrific. She had a nice stage patter and sang a lot of the classics. The audience loved her but, when she stopped in the middle of her act to offer to sing a verse of Waltzing Matilda to mark Australia Day, there was a chorus of groans from the kiwis. The resentment of Australia is pretty intense. I was surprised to find that there were just about the same number of kiwis as aussies on board, even though we sailed out of Auckland.

Our plan was to go on to other things after the main show, but common sense kicked in and we had a quick supper in the buffet and took a cup of tea to bed, to sleep and, perchance to dream.

Friday, January 25th .....

So, everything has fallen into place and we’ve arrived in Auckland. As I write that first sentence of this post I realize I have fallen into the trap of adopting a new fad in the abuse of language. They seem to spring up from time to time, often initiated by teenagers or sports commentators, but I’m not sure where this new one germinated. Of course, I’m talking about the gradual replacement of ‘Well …’ with ‘So …’ at the beginning of a reply, to get attention or give time to put thoughts in order. To my conservative ear it sounds odd but probably no worse than the over-use of Well or Um.

We flew from Melbourne by QANTAS, in an A320, which is a nice little plane for domestic use but like a sardine tin for an international flight where people expect a little more room to watch the TV and to be fed. We haven’t flown QANTAS for years and only did so this time because Marilyn had a credit from a cancelled flight to Manila, and we had to use it within a certain time. We won’t be using them again in a hurry unless they change their policy of allowing only 31 inches between the seats. When other airlines can offer up to 34 inches for a cheaper price, we’ll avoid the flying kangaroo.

The Ibis hotel at Auckland airport claims to be only a 700m walk from the terminal and we could see their neon sign in the distance but 11.30 at night is too late for a stroll so we looked for a taxi. Inevitably, the driver was a Sikh and very helpful at loading our bags into the boot but, when we told him our destination, he apologized and said that he would have to charge us the minimum fare of $36, even though it was only a few minutes’ drive. Welcome to New Zealand! He also told us there was a free bus if we wanted to unload the bags and try that. No, I said bravely, we’re in now. Drive on! (We’re on holidays after all).

This morning we took the airport shuttle which dropped us off at the wharf. We couldn’t book in until 4.15 so we checked in our bags and wandered into town. We love Auckland. Like Sydney and Melbourne, it’s become an Asian city with a feeling of energy and purpose. We bought a couple of last-minute things we needed and found a Japanese restaurant for lunch before heading back to the ship.

Boarding was slick and our cabin was on Deck 8, near the front of the ship – a good size and perfect for our needs. It will take us a couple of days to establish our routine. There are 5 or 6 dining options so we’ll have to try them all. Tonight was the Pacific Moon; the food was excellent but it always is on the Diamond Princess.

Monday, January 21st .....

Marilyn decided last week that it was time we changed sides of the bed.  Which side of the bed you sleep on is one of the things you decide in the first few days of marriage.  There was no question, in fact: I took the side nearest the door.  This is based on the ‘tiger’ theory; that is, if a tiger came through the door of the bedroom, it would meet me first and I would be able to deal with it before it ate Marilyn.  Forget the realities: that I would be inclined to throw Marilyn at it so I could have a chance to escape, the theory has worked for us for 47 years and it’s difficult to change now. 

They say that old married couples might need to introduce some new ideas into their time in bed but I can’t help but wonder if sleeping on the other side will make any difference.

I mentioned that we had watched Brave the other night.  It’s a kids’ movie, of course, but great fun and everyone will enjoy the animation and the bizarre characters in it.  The heroine, Merida, has incredible red hair; to deal with this in animation must have been a challenge for the animators. 

I really enjoyed hearing the voices of actors like Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson and Robbie Coltrane coming from the faces of the characters on the screen.  I’ll see Fergus in my mind every time I hear Billy Connolly on the radio.  Quite disconcerting.

Just a few days now before we fly to Auckland for our cruise.  We’ll take the caravan back to Dilston on Wednesday so we can pack our bags in time to leave on Thursday.  While we’re away, I’ll be celebrating my 70^th birthday (perhaps celebrating is not the right word!)  It’s a real milestone and I can’t get my head around the concept that I’m as old as that.  Perhaps that’s one of the reasons we like cruising so much: compared to many of the other passengers, we’re relatively young.

 

 

Friday, January 18th .....

We’re still in Deloraine, enjoying the country life and the warm weather.  Other parts of Tasmania are having a terrible time with fires but we’re a long way from the devastation, at least for the time being.  We’re camped outside the Rotary Pavilion which is owned by our club and has a kitchen, and toilets and so on.  Last night, we were settling down to read when Marilyn noticed a car had pulled up beside us.  A woman got out of the driver’s seat, and climbed in to the back. 

Clearly, she planned to sleep there.  There wasn’t a sound from her until just after 6 this morning when we heard the car door.  Peer through the curtains and there she was getting something out of the boot, and then getting behind the wheel and driving off.  Marilyn’s imagination, of course, went into top gear.  Was she someone who had been thrown out by her husband, or had she stormed out after a tiff? 

I was a little more pragmatic.  It’s cheaper to sleep in the car than pay for a hotel and she was trying to save a quid.  Or maybe she was on government business and was fiddling her travel allowance, claiming for a hotel room and sleeping in the car.  She picked a good spot to doss down, a quiet well-lit spot with other campers nearby.  We’ll be interested to see whether she comes back toinight.  Whatever the reality, it was another little thread in life’s rich tapestry.

The paddock next door to us has a crop of onions.  Last year, the farmer had potatoes and the year before that was poppies.  Appparently, there’s profit to be made with lots of crops but the secret is to have a contract before you plant anything.  I was having a chat with another farmer the other night and I commented how big the field was. ‘Oh, well’, he said wisely, ‘it’s no good having half a crop.’  I think if I stay in Deloraine long enough, I’ll get a real education.

There’s not much else happening.  I’ve been busy finalising the Application Form for the Craft Fair.  At this time of the year, we have to decide on the theme, feature artist, slogan and so on.  We’re focusing on Textile Art – machine embroidery, quilts, clothing and wearable art.  This last item is red-hot at the moment.  The local organisation is called Art on Legs and they are happy to come on board.

Our slogan is ‘Be prepared to meet the maker.’ – a little cheeky but people might remember it.

I’m writing this while we watch a movie.  Marilyn’s going though an art deco kick at the moment and when she was at the library looking for Kerry Greenwood books about Phryne Fisher, she picked up a DVD of an Agatha Christie mystery.  It ticked all the boxes, 1930s, crime, Agatha Christie, and we hadn’t seen it.  The only problem was – it was CRAP.  We struggled through the wooden acting of the first part – bucolic policeman with a comic accent, and a hearty fellow with a bow tie, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to watch the rest.  We’re now going to watch Brave, the animated film set in Scotland (starring the voice of Billy Connolly).  Couldn’t be worse than the other rubbish.

.

 

 

 

Sunday, January 13th .....

We’re camped in Deloraine at the moment, to give me a chance to file away last year’s Craft Fair papers and start the ball rolling for this year.  Marilyn and I drove to Hobart on Thursday for a meeting with our Media Adviser.  When she was appointed by the previous director, I was critical because I had visions of the over-paid and under-worked Media Advisors who work for politicians and manage to keep their jobs in every purge of the Public Service. Clearly, however, that’s just another grumpy old man prejudice that I’ve developed.

Paula is an energetic and intelligent young woman with a great imagination.  She has worked in PR and Media for years and knows everyone who is worth knowing.  Our conversation on Thursday was very productive and a clear image of the 2013 is starting to emerge. 

Life in the caravan is certainly different from our normal pattern.  We tend to sleep until about 9 o’clock, have a leisurely breakfast, read for a bit and suddenly realise that it’s noon and we’ve done nothing.  To balance the late start, we often stay up till after midnight.  With the long evenings, we can walk or do some chores when the air is cooler.

I’ve been working on a brief family tree for my uncle.  He’s just turned 88 and thinking more of his younger years.  His father came from a long line of weavers who, in later generations, moved in to the coal industry.  His mother’s family were agricultural workers in Ayrshire.  It’s typical of many Scottish working class families who were pioneers in the Industrial Revolution.  In many ways, they were cannon fodder, underpaid and dispensable, but they were the worker ants whose energy and loyalty made Scotland the leader of the industrial world in the 19^th century. 

Archie left home at 14 and was apprenticed to a baker. 

On the outbreak of WW2, he joined the Merchant Navy and worked on convoys across the North Atlantic between Glasgow and Halifax, and even on the Murmansk run on a number of occasions.  Thousands died in these ships which were at the mercy of the U-boats.  Archie never talks of the danger; he always boasts of the food he could buy in Halifax, to take home to his family who were doing it tough back in Scotland.

Searching for old photographs has turned up gems.  The one I’ve included here is of my grandmother, Dad and his sister, and my younger brother and me, taken outside our tenement building in Clark Street, Blantyre.  It must have been taken about 1948 or 1949.

Dad’s sister, Nettie, lives in England and I hope to visit her in April.  I haven’t seen her since 1950 and I suspect she would have changed a bit since then.

Marilyn and I watched a terrific movie the other day.  It’s called Salmon Fishing in Yemen, and has Ewan McKenzie in it.  It’s lightweight but heart-warming.  Listen to me, recommending heart-warming movies!  I must be getting sentimental in my old age.

Tuesday, January 8th .....

Today is our anniversary; in fact, I celebrate two anniversaries on January 8^th.  On this day, in 1951, the MV Georgic docked in Sydney and I arrived in Australia, leaving a cold and depressed post-war Scotland behind.

Fifteen years later, Marilyn and I were married in a very traditional ceremony in Corrimal, NSW.  They were all traditional ceremonies in those days.  I don’t think marriage celebrants had been invented and to have a wedding on a mountain-top or a beach was unheard-of.  For years, Marilyn had been building up her ‘Glory Box’, or ‘Hope Chest’ with all the things she might need for married life – linen, cutlery, pots and pans, and so on.  Her father had been saving-up; he had two daughters and he knew he would be responsible for the cost of two weddings. 

In our circle, the reception would normally be held in the church hall and the Women’s Guild might cater.  Reception Centres were springing up for those who wanted something a little posh, and some of the larger hotels were sniffing around a new market.  I had been doing some casual work at the local Masonic Club so we opted for that.  I think my father was a little put-out.  He had never drunk and disagreed, on principle, with licensed premises but he had already tagged me as a bit strange so went along with it.  In fact, he probably blamed Marilyn.  He used to say, jokingly, that I never drank until I met her.  The other bad habit she taught me, apparently, was to eat tinned spaghetti. 

It was a very innocent time in 1966.  All our friends were getting married (remember Sherbet!) and we all conformed without any hesitation.  Another song I remember is Little Boxes (on the hillside and they’re all made out of ticky-tacky) but that questioning of conformity came later.  The ‘normal’ honeymoon was to go to the Gold Coast or Katoomba but we booked on a cruise.  Everyone thought we were super-rich, and/or pretentious.  I’ve told this sad story before, I know, but, in short, the ship had a fire, the cruise was cancelled and we ended up on a 14-day coach tour from Sydney, to Melbourne, Adelaide, the Murray Valley and Canberra.  We arrived back in Sydney with just loose change in our pockets, but what fantastic memories.

The mathematically-minded can work out that we’ve been married 47 years.  I tried once to work out how many different homes we’ve had in that time and I it’s certainly more than 15.  We’ve bought and sold four homes and lived in school houses for 23 years. We haven’t put down roots anywhere and today we’re nomadic.  Clearly we stopped conforming on the day of our marriage, gently at first but gaining momentum as life went on.  It’s been a wild ride.

The weather forecast is for 33^o today so our plans are for a day of reading in the air-conditioning.  We can justify it because we’ve been busy for the last week or so.  Jamie has been finishing off a new garden bed under the front windows and I’ve been building a rockery.  We certainly have plenty of rocks around the place: some as big as a table and as immoveable as Uluru, but others are able to be lifted or at least manipulated with a crowbar.

We had a pile of rocks all ready and waiting but a rockery is not just a pile of rocks and I’d been avoiding making the commitment to what I could see would be big job.  However, Marilyn made a trip to Bunnings on Tuesday and came home with a collection of plants for the proposed rockery she’s been talking about for months. That certainly put the pressure on and I had to get stuck in and create some order out of the chaos.  The result is not too bad and a few more hours of moving in dirt and planting will make it something I can point to with pride.

When I came in to the house, exhausted from my unfamiliar manual labour, Marilyn said, sympathetically, I don’t like you lugging rocks around.  I’m always keen to have sympathy but it’s easy to feign sympathy after the event.  She didn’t feel sympathy when she suggested it would be a ‘nice’ thing for me to do.

I tried to write this blog on my iPad but haven’t yet worked out the process.  I bought the iPad as a reward to myself for organising the Craft Fair.  As I suspected, it has little practical value but I use it to play mindless games like Solitaire and Jigsaw Scrabble when we’re watching TV in the evenings.  I find that I can’t just sit and watch TV; I have to have something to keep my hands busy, and the iPad fills that role perfectly.

I noticed on the Diamond Princess forum that a previous passenger commented how interesting it was that the schedule of activities on the ship included a get-together for passengers with iPads.  Marilyn laughed when she heard that, envisaging the motley group of nerds, all in the same room but interacting only with their iPads, in splendid isolation.  We’re cruising on the Diamond Princess at the end of this month and I don’t know whether I should look for this iPad get-together or not.  If I go, will that label me as a nerd?