Wednesday, January 1st ....

Happy New Year! I hope all your dreams come to fulfilment and your resolutions take effect.

We decided to have a new car for 2014. The old Territory has done 248000 kms, is creaking at the joints and I had just been alerted to a $3000 job which needed to be done. Now that we have decided to keep the caravan for another 12 months at least, we were looking for a replacement tow vehicle. On the top of my wish list was a new Territory with a Diesel engine but I couldn't justify the cost, as the car might be redundant in a year's time when we might be looking for something smaller. So, we have purchased a late-model Territory with low kilometres. We had an inspection by the RACT, convinced the seller to give us new tyres and a new battery, have arranged to get the heavy duty towbar transferred from the old car to the new, and we start the year afresh.

The salesman was a classic, rubbing his hands together and complaining how little room he had for negotiation. It's all a con, of course, but when he trades in a vehicle, he is faced with expenses to get it ready for for sale: workshop costs of $130 per hour, detailing, $375 site fee in the car yard, and so on. He claims he had only $377 potential profit in the car we bought. My heart bleeds.

I asked him what he was doing for the New Year. Apparently, he and three mates are involved in a project to drink at every pub in Tasmania. This year, they are going to Marrawah, wherever that is. One of the four becomes the DD and the other three sample the wares and rate the establishment. They have one or two beers in each place and move on. I suppose everyone needs a hobby but this one seems particularly self-destructive.

New Year's Day in Launceston is rainy. Probably a day for relaxing and reading.

Christmas humour ....

Two ends of the humour spectrum heard today ....

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate Clauses!

Wednesday, December 25th ....

I hope everyone is having a great Christmas. We certainly are. Madi, Josh and Jamie are here with us, we've just polished off a platter of prawns and are getting ready to attack the roast dinner. This year, we're having lamb and ham, baked by Jamie in the barbecue. Can't wait.

The Archbishop of Brisbane will be a little anxious this afternoon after an unfortunate 15-second grab of his Christmas sermon on the ABC. He was criticising those who don't believe in Jesus because they can't see him. He used the analogy of Santa Claus, 'even though he can't be seen, children still believe he exists.' Um, not a very good analogy. There's a fatal flaw in your logic, Archbishop. Try harder next year.

We've been sitting outside enjoying the sunshine but it's not like Christmases of old. What's missing is the noise of children, playing in the streets with their new toys. Clearly, the new toys are for indoors and, apart from the occasional tweet, they're probably quite silent. There it is, the complaint of the grumpy old man - it's not like the old days.

Tuesday, December 24th ....

After 2000 years, it's getting harder to find an interesting way to say Merry Christmas but here's a new twist on an old theme.

Monday, December 23rd .....

There's at least one family who will have a miserable Christmas. A husband and wife were on the Rhapsody of the Seas on their way to Noumea at the end of last week, when the man fell overboard about 2 o'clock in the morning. His body was noticed in the water about 6 hours later. It's not as rare as you think, falling overboard. Another man dived from the rail of the Sun Princess in May, after an argument with his wife about where to have dinner. And, two Australians disappeared from a cruise ship in Boston Harbour recently. They might have to make wearing life jackets compulsory if this trend continues.

Listening to the radio this morning, and the announcer was lamenting about the demise of backyard cricket. Apparently, it's not because today's kids are bone-lazy and more interested in computer games; rather, it's because of the disappearance of backyards. As land becomes more expensive and houses bigger, back yards shrink. The special guests to comment on this phenomenon was an architect and, wait for it, the Director of the Institute for Backyard Studies. Ta-ra!

What an absolutely amazing find! The Institute for Backyard Studies was formed to explore Shed Culture and other themes of Blokiness. It makes short films, researches eccentric blokes (like Henry Hoke who invented the wooden magnet and the shearer's pizzle guard) and develops useless machines like the smoke ring generator unveiled at a recent expo at Carlton. Check out their website. I hope they get into education. If they ever start awarding degrees, the bloke who failed his MBA from Harvard might still,qualify for the MBS (Master of Backyard Studies). Apparently, the first principle of Shed culture is 'Never Throw Anything Out.'

The attached photo shows the inimitable Barry Morgan surrounded by a smoke ring.

Sunday, December 15th ....

My brother put me on to Pinterest and, because I was browsing while watching the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special, I did a search to see whether anyone else was collecting stuff about the Doctor. Wow! I couldn't believe the amount of stuff there was. I can see I've found a whole new world of time-wasting opportunities.

My favourite 'companion' is Amelia Pond, the girl,who waited. If you don't follow the series, you'll have no idea what that means but, trust me, her story is fascinating. Also, she's Scottish and has red hair, so that's two ticks to start with.

David Tennant played Doctor #10 and by a strange coincidence his wife is the daughter of Doctor #5. We Dr Who tragics find that sort of stuff fascinating.

Dr Who is a phenomenon. The hero is a doctor, not an avenger nor a warrior. He is armed with a screwdriver, to fix things, rather than a gun to destroy things. It's the longest-running sci-fi series anywhere in the world. And it's made in Wales.

I've attached a couple of posters gleaned from the web. One, of course is Amelia; the other shows Doctors Numbers 5 and 10, father-in-law and son-in-law.

Friday, December 13th ....

Looking back at the cruise on the Voyager, I have to say that there was a great deal to like about it. I would be very picky if I found any real fault. Sometimes, it was a bit crowded in the Promenade but the weather wasn't always good and people couldn't hang around the pool as they might have done otherwise. We were always able to find a quiet place to sit. The food was good and the crew worked hard to give us a memorable trip.

We had a few days in Wollongong after the cruise, checking up on Uncle Archie. We had a great day out in Gosford, traveling by train and having lunch at the Central Coast Leagues Club and enjoyed catching up with Robyn and Sandy and Janet. When we visit a big city, we see the drawbacks of Tassie life but the first sign of a hot day makes us think again.

The cruise gave us a chance to think about where we are in life and whether we need to make changes. It's clear there are some issues we're dealing with: our unit is unsatisfactory, the wine business is not shaping up as we thought, we're limited in the travel we can do, and so on. The 14 days of relaxation on the high seas gave us the impetus to face up to the problems and change our direction.

We realise that We're not as resilient as we were. The simple life is our goal and that ideal was far out of reach with the path we found ourselves on. I think it was Robert Frost who recommended to choose the path less trodden, so we have.

We've given notice that we'll be leaving the unit before Christmas, we've pulled out of the business and we feel liberated. Our short-term plans are to make no big decisions before Easter next year. We have a house-sitting job to do for January and will then travel in the van until our next cruise in early-March. Jamie is booked to fly to the Philippines on January 20th and will be away for a month. By May, we should be able to decide on where we live. In some ways, we feel we've outgrown Tasmania but who knows what the future might bring.

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Friday, December 6th ....

The end is in sight and Marilyn has already packed her bag. I'm avoiding that task but will have to get on to it some time this afternoon. There's a matinee performance in the theatre at 1.30 but there should be plenty of time after that. Again, there's a crowd of people around the shops. Yesterday, there was to be another sale of watches in the evening but we couldn't sail until after 11pm so the sale was postponed until today. It's the third time that watches have been promoted but there seems to be as much demand no as there ever was.

We sailed late because the wind was too strong for us to get out of Port Philip Bay safely. Apparently, there are only a certain number of channels and the one allocated to us was too narrow to be used in windy conditions. The captain has put on a bit of speed and we are still expected to arrive in Sydney on time at 6am.

Last night's performers were the Aussie Boys, obviously based on the Jersey Boys but singing only Australian songs. I suspect it was one of these manufactured groups put together by a management company to fill a perceived niche. The Boys in the Band from the other night was very similar. The three young men were dressed in suits, like the Jersey Boys, but with no ties. Surprisingly, two of them had Roger David bum-freezers but the third one had a very nicely-cut suit which looked quite expensive. Not a very important observation but makes you think.

Later in the evening was The Quest! We first came across this on the Legend of the Seas. It's an adults-only scavenger hunt. The audience is divided into eight teams. Each team selects a male and a female captain. The cruise director calls out, one at a time, what they have to find: two business cards, five belts strung together, three different-coloured shoe laces, and so. It's hilarious as each team scrambles around trying to find the objects within the group. It gets even more hilarious when he asks for 2 men in the same pair of trousers, or five bras. No inhibitions here. One task was to provide the most unusual trick using the human body. One fellow claimed he could dislocate his hip, another turned his eyelids inside out. Our team won that quest because one of our team could wrap her legs behind her head. Creepy! We finished up by transforming one of our male team into a female, no trousers, accessorised, and made up. Just like the Footy Show. Why do some men enjoy pretending to be ugly women?

Our team won, by the way.

Thursday, December 5th ....

We had an uneventful day on Wednesday, sailing across the Tasman Sea. There were lots of birds: albatrosses, fulmars and shearwaters particularly, but the weather was miserable and most people (except the smokers) stayed inside. The smokers have been allocated the starboard sides of Decks 4, 11 and 12. This seems a lot and is a nuisance if you want to walk around the deck. There aren't too many smokers but they spread out and claim their territory so making a circuit is like running the gauntlet. One throwback smokes cigars so he is certainly one to avoid.

The Wednesday night act was an impressionist, singing like Frank and Sammy and so on - a bit trite but he had a nice patter to go with it. To make sure we got the message, pictures of the artists flashed up on a screen behind him. Then, all of a sudden, the pictures changed to cute babies. Not another one! We'd already suffered this indulgence from Colleen a few nights before and now a bloke is playing the same sentimental card! It turned out that he was Colleen's husband and it was the same precious baby. Who needs it!

Anyway, we survived this and looked forward to Melbourne where we had decided that we would get off, no matter what. The weather was pretty ordinary but we got out our jumpers and rain jackets and set off. The first trial was to line up, with hundreds of others to buy a Miki ticket. It seems you can't buy a ticket on a tram anymore, so we handed over $7 each for a Seniors Visitors Pass. It only costs $2.50 for a day ticket in NSW so we felt a bit ripped off. There were literally hundreds of people trying to get on the tram. The Diamond Princess was also in dock so there were probably 5000 people trying to get into the city, with no extra trams put on.

Eventually, it was our turn and we scrambled aboard, even finding a seat. Opposite us was a couple from Tamworth, travelling on the Diamond. They hadn't bothered with a ticket, realising that no one would be checking in the bunrush. They really didn't know where they were going so we steered them to Bourke Street. Later on, we were standing in the rain, waiting for a 109 tram to take us back to the ship, when we saw them on a 112, heading for St Kilda. Clearly they had got on the wrong tram, and it serves them right. Country bumpkins, trying to cheat the system!

I felt for the international visitors, expecting some Australian sunshine, but we know how fickle the Melbourne weather can be and weren't surprised. It was nice to get back to the ship for a bowl of hot soup.

Tuesday, December 3rd ....

Yesterday, was the day for visiting Milford Sound, which is always a highlight. First, though, we sailed into Dusk and Doubtful,Sounds while the pilot told us about the history and geology of the area. His title is Fiordland Pilot and he seems to relish his job. On Saturday, he sailed through the Sounds on Pacific Pearl, then sailed around to Dunedin with them to meet up with us.

We've been lucky; on 5 trips to Milford Sound the weather has always been wonderful, and it is a glorious place if the sun is shining. No doubt, the international passengers on our ship will take away wonderful memories of NZ. We overheard a conversation behind us between an exasperated man and his confused wife. She couldn't understand the concept of a pilot, and did he belong to the ship, and which government paid his wages. And, if we are still in New Zealand, why is this called Melbourne Sound? The clincher was her question, how does the pilot get on and off the ship? They have stairs! was the reply through clenched teeth.

Another very good show last night with the singers and dancers in a production called Music in Pictures. Sunday night's show is best forgotten; I've seen better school productions. Today, we were treated to the Ice Odyssey. The ice rink is 60 feet x 40 feet and there are 11 skaters in the cast. It was spectacular and, when you consider we're on a ship, nothing less that amazing. They had five presentations of the same show over a few days because they can only seat 6 or 700 around the but, of course, it means that everyone has a good seat.

Our next port is Melbourne, on Thursday, then up the coast to arrive in Sydney on Saturday morning. All is going well.