Monday, November 18th ....

We've felt a bit flat after the Craft Fair and need a shake before we start the busy winemaking season . Anyway, that's our excuse for booking a cruise. It's the Voyager of the Seas, leaving Sydney on Saturday next, 23rd November. We're not sure what cabin we will end up in but she'll be right.

What an extraordinary ship it is. When she was built, she was the largest cruise ship in the world. The heart of the ship is an indoor promenade or mall with shops, cafes and even a pub, The Pig and Whistle. There will be over 3000 passengers. Can't wait!

We arrive back on December 7th and expect that Jamie and Pamela will have already made the Elderflower Wine. The flowers are starting to appear around town and should be at their best in about two weeks. We only have a dozen or so bottles left from last season so the new vintage will be welcome.

Friday, November 15th ....

I've just been watching a repeat of a Spicks and Specks episode from 2007, where they finished with a clip of the Finnish Men's Shouting Choir. What a fantastic clip! It started with a man in a suit marching across the ice towards a huge ice-breaker. Another twenty or so other men joined him, lined up and waited for him to begin conducting.

It was almost musical but the close-ups were wonderful. Unshaven faces with odd hairstyles and yellow teeth were not particularly pretty and the effort of shouting made them even uglier. Maybe we should have a shouting choir in Tasmania. All we need is a frozen sea and an ice-breaker.

Wednesday, November 13th ....

At our meeting last night, we had a short debrief of the Craft Fair. We ran out of time and several members feel they were short-changed so we'll have to set more time aside later. Every year we have this process and every year we hear the same comments. However, there are always some important issues among the dross, so it's a worthwhile exercise.

There are always some funny stories, too and this year was no exception. Like, the one about the duck, followed by a string of ducklings, which tried to cross the road at the peak of traffic congestion. Tim, the lollipop man, stopped all traffic and ushered the ducks safely across, even helping the ducklings traverse the high kerb on the other side.

One of the best stories is about the local radio which we play over the PA system. For some reason, the programs arranged for Sunday afternoon and Monday morning were totally inappropriate. I know that some people might like nostalgic replays of old British comedy songs, but not at the Craft Fair. The icing on the cake was when the RSL Pipe Band were preparing for their performance and Andy Stewart bellowed over the PA, 'Donald, Where's your Troosers?'

You couldn't script it.

Saturday, November 9th ....

On the Saturday of the Craft Fair, we had the Awards Presentation. It started at 6.30 and one of the late-comers mentioned that the police were setting up an RBT at the corner of the street leading up to the venue. What a cheek! Clearly, we were being targeted because the set-up would not have caught anyone else.

I did tell everyone at the start of the evening but they all forgot and there were one or two a bit unsure of whether they might be in trouble. One of the judges was particularly worried so I suggested Marilyn walk her up to the next street, and I would drive her car around to pick her up. (It's called 'compounding a felony'). All went well, I was duly breath-tested, allowed to drive on and delivered the car to her.

Marilyn and I walked back to our car and joined the back of the line waiting to be tested. 'What if he recognises you?' said Marilyn. 'Don't worry, I'll put on my glasses', I said. (Works for Clark Kent!). We drove up, rolled down the window. 'Good evening, sir. Just blow in here. Hang on, you were here a few minutes ago.'

It's a bugger being recognisable.

To make matters worse, we were heading out to the Raspberry Farm for dinner. On the way back, the RBT station had been moved to the top roundabout in Deloraine, and we all got caught again. Luckily, we had Martin driving and he hasn't had a drink in 20 years. It's a shame, though, that the police obviously knew our plans and set out deliberately to catch a rogue Rotarian or two.

Friday, November 8th ....

Instead of stories about the Fair, let me tell you about a special fund-raising event at Rotary. It was called Pasta, Plonk and Poetry. I wrote a poem for the occasion but the plaudits went to our Rotary District Governor and his wife who narrated The Ballad of Barry and Freda, first performed by Victoria Wood on her Christmas Show in 2009. Here's a little bit. If you don't know it, you'll find it on YouTube.



Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear.
The stars were bright.
The wind was soft.
The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup.
She licked her lips.
She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.
No derision!
My decision
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

.... And so on.

Friday, November 8th ....

I thought I might relate a few anecdotes about the Fair but they would have little interest for anyone but Rotarians so I won't bother. At our final-night dinner, we had lots of stories and much laughter but you would need to have been there to enjoy it.

Jamie organised a stall for Tasmanian Specialty Wines and made a few dollars. Madi and Josh helped out as well. The icing on the cake was an order for about 150 bottles of wine to put in Christmas Hampers. At last, there's money coming in.

Our friends Sue and Martin arrived for a visit the night before the Fair started. I dragged them along to a couple of evening functions so we could spend some time with them and that was great. I think Martin particularly enjoyed meeting the Premier; he certainly spent some time talking to her. They've gone off for a couple of days and we expect them back about Monday, when we can give them our full attention.

Last year, I celebrated the end of the Craft Fair by buying myself an iPad. This year, I bought a new e-reader. Marilyn has taken to borrowing my old one, leaving me to read on the iPad. This is great, of course, but I found that the battery was running out at the wrong moment so I've invested in a proper reader. JB HiFi were selling the Sony Mk 2 for $99 and I can't resist a bargain. It's a more elegant machine than the Mk 1 so I'm happy with it.

Friday, November 8th

The past three weeks have been a blur, with the Craft Fair becoming an all-consuming monster. There's a lot that can only be done in the last few days so I didn't have much time to keep the blog up to date, what with painting and building stalls and answering interminable phone calls.

But we've survived and can now focus on getting our lives back into a more normal routine.

The Fair becomes more and more complicated. This year, we added regular Facebook and Twitter updates to the normal demands and seemed to deal with about twice the normal requests for media interviews. On Monday, I was relieving the regular parking Marshall when WIN TV turned up for some comments. I duly complied, with one eye watching to see what mess the drivers were making in trying to find a spot for their vehicle. Oh, the price of fame!

Anyway, the Fair was a great success and I can hand over the reins to my successor on a good note.