Our regular routine has been to stay with Sandy and Janet but, as they have a full house at the moment, we took the chance to stay with Robyn, our long-time friend (in fact, she was a year behind me at both primary and high school). Robyn’s mum was famous in Gwynneville because she would always ask the butcher for a right-leg of lamb because, as she said, they walked around the hillside clock-wise and the right leg didn’t have to do as much work. Unfortunately, she’s not very well at the moment and Robyn is more than a little worried about her.
It was an odd sort of visit to Robyn’s because she left us the day after we arrived and flew to Townsville to visit her cousin Gay, (who was actually in my class in both primary and high school). This left Marilyn and me with the use of Robyn’s house and car - very generous and much appreciated.
My mum is in high care at a nursing home in Dapto. She is pretty fit but struggles to keep track of what is happening. ‘My head’s full of broken bottles,’ she says. It’s sad to see this intelligent and active woman diminishing in such significant ways. She turned 89 in April and is pretty much the last of her generation so far as our family is concerned.
Uncle Archie is 85 and, after a couple of strokes and falls, he is almlost immobile. He uses a walker but he lacks strength in his legs and his balance is poor, so he doesn’t get around much. Whenever we go to visit him, his first request is to go to the bank to draw out some money. ‘How much would you like, Uncle Archie?’
‘As much as I can get!’ he says. The nursing home keeps him on a pretty tight rein financially because, if he has money, he insists on going out and invariably come back stony broke. He has always been a generous man and there are too many people about now who will help him spend what he has.
We took him to visit mum while we were there and they spent a hour or two reminiscing about happy times when they were younger.
We had thought we would take them both out for lunch but Mum wasn’t up to it so Uncle Archie had Marilyn and me to himself.He loves seafood, so we borrowed Mum’s wheelchair and took him to a fish restaurant where he ordered lobster, and prawns and oysters. Clearly, there was more than he could eat so he took the whole lobster home to have at his leisure. It would have been quite a change from his usual nursing home fare.
You have to question what life is about. All our elderly relations are saying the same thing - they’ve had long, happy and productive lives and think it’s now time to move on. As their bodies and minds deteriorate, they see themselves as ‘marking time’. Our ‘oldies’ are lucky that they all have excellent homes where the staff are interested and they are well looked after. Of course, there are many old folk who don’t have that advantage and how many of them will die alone and unloved this winter?
PS We’ve just heard that Mum has been offered a place in a new resort-style home called The Links. It’s in Corrimal Street, Wollongong, just down he road from where Mum lived for many years. Many of the rooms have beautiful views over the ocean or the adjoining golf course, and it is spacious and ultra-modern. Sandy will be going in tomorrow (Monday, 24th) to select her room. Fantastic!
Another benefit is that Sandy won’t have to make the long drive to Dapto two or three times every week as he does at the moment.
I’d like to find a new place for Uncle Archie too. Diment Towers was the first of the Illawarra Retirement Trust’s homes and I think it is over 40 years old. However, his unit has two rooms and any move he makes will be in to a single bed-sit room, and he is not interested.
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