Careful, he might hear you .....

Yesterday was a ‘sea-day’ when everyone wanders around looking for a place to sit and checks the daily sheet for interesting things to do. With almost 2000 passengers, the little bars and sitting areas become quite crowded and it’s fascinating to listen in to some of the conversations which are sometimes just a little too loud.

It’s funny how some voices are very penetrating and we’ve moved seats from time to time because we couldn’t concentrate on whatever we were doing because of a ‘loudmouth’ nearby who dominated the airwaves. Most of the conversations go in one ear and out the other but, occasionally, one will be more memorable for one reason or another. I’ll try to set down examples of things we have heard, and remembered, during the past couple of days.

Complaints can be embarrassing and more than once we’ve slunk away because we couldn’t stand to hear more. American passengers can be among the more obnoxious because they complain about the most trivial. One fellow loudly told anyone who would listen that his cabin is ‘filthy. The chemical they use in the toilets has left a grey ring around the toilet. Standards are dropping everywhere. We used to get a mint when we left the dining room but that doesn’t happen anymore.’ Australians can be just as obnoxious. In the dining room yesterday, the waiter at the next table delivered a drink and said, ‘Lime and bitters, madam.’ She loudly asked, ‘Don’t you put lime in these drinks anymore?’ ‘Yes, madam,’ he said. “It has lime in it.’ ‘No, you just said it didn’t.’ She clearly meant to say that maybe it didn’t have lemon but she wouldn’t back down and got more and more obnoxious. The drink turned out to be a lemon, lime and bitters, perfectly made but the waiter was embarrassed by the whole nonsense.

A number of passengers are getting a print-out of their account almost every day to make sure they are not being cheated. Unfortunately, they forget what they have spent and the staff at the reception have to patiently try to explain what is what in the face of rudeness and bad manners.

We sat beside a group of women in the bar last night. One of them had a drink in front of her and the rest were trying to work out what they wanted. They asked the first lady what she had. ‘I asked for a Frozen Daiquiri but it’s all ice,’ she said. ‘Oh, that’s no good,’ said another. “Here’s one with Grand Mariner. What’s that?’ Another said, ‘That lady over there has one that looks nice. What are you drinking?’ she shouted. ‘It’s a virgin Pinal Colada, $4.55 for a medium,’ came the reply. ‘What did you say?’ ‘A virgin Pina Colada, it doesn’t have any alcohol.’ ‘Oh, I’m not sure about that.’

In the bar again, and a man came in carrying a wooden horse. ‘Can I park my horse here?’ he asked the waitress. Someone asked him what the horse’s name was. ‘Oh, I can’t divulge that yet, and I can’t tell you the jockey’s name or the name of the trainer, but I’m hoping to win the Melbourne Cup with him.’

We were listening to Larry the piano man when he stopped playing and said to a man standing over near the bar. ‘Stop fidgeting, ‘he said. ‘ Do you have something to say?’ ‘I just wanted to tell you that that man over there has ferrets.’ ‘What!’ said Larry. ‘With him? Maybe that’s why his legs are crossed.’ ‘No,’ said the first man. ‘He has them at home.’ ‘I was bitten by a ferret once,’ said Larry. ‘Or maybe it was a mink.’ (It’s like something out of the Goon Show.)

Some of the overheard conversations are very sad. One old dear wandered by this morning, muttering ‘That’s a waste of time,’ over and over, with her husband saying ‘Yes, dear, yes, dear’.

We always choose to sit at a table on our own because you never know who you’ll be stuck with. Some fellow-passengers can be boring and we’ve overheard conversations from adjoining table where one passenger insists on explaining the hands he had at last night’s Three-Hand Poker Game. Ladies who do craft are among the most boring although there can sometimes be a gem among the drivel. A group yesterday was talking about some samples of embroidery they had seen. One of the long-suffering males in the party finally piped up, ‘I thought the golfer was the best piece, and I thought she did his balls particularly well.’

We’re in Broome today and a beautiful place it is. It has a temporary look about it because almost all the building are corrugated iron. We were keen to buy some pearls so took the shuttle into town and wandered around for an hour or two before coming back to the boat. We’ll see the famous sunset before we sail this evening for Bali. Living on the East Coast, we have to travel a long way to see the sun set over water. Manila Bay was beautiful and so was the view from the Kimberley Coast; let’s hope Broome can match up.