Friday, June 29th .....

I’ve always been a great fan of quotes.  I don’t particularly mean the ‘posh’ quotes you read at the beginning of books or in literary essays; I like the common man quotes from Monty Python or Fawlty Towers – ‘Don’t mention the war!’ for example.

Today I heard a quote from Raymond Chandler.  I haven’t read Raymond Chandler since I was in High School and I had never thought of him as worth quoting, but now I find there are websites dedicated to listing the interesting things he said.  Here’s an example:

“There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.”

It was Peter Fitzsimons who quoted Chandler this morning.  Describing one of the women shipwrecked in the Batavia disaster in the 17^th century, he said “It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.”  Brilliant!

But, even better, Richard Fidler, the interviewer, came straight back with: "He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food". (Actually, he got it wrong but I’ve fixed it up for him.)

This is terrific stuff so I’ve picked out a few to learn and bring out on the appropriate occasion.  What do you think of these?

“You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.”

“The wet air was as cold as the ashes of love.”

“It seemed like a nice neighbourhood to have bad habits in.”

Hmmm!  Maybe just a touch pretentious.  I’ll stick to Yes Minister and Dad’s Army and take a courageous decision not to panic.

By the way, Sir Humphrey Applebey would be delighted with our Prime Minister's decision to set up a committee to investigate the issue of asylum seekers.  It's a classic Yes Minister ruse to make people think you are doing something when you are simply putting off the need for a decision until you get back from your six weeks' break.  Not happy, Jan! (or Julie).

Thursday, June 28th .....

I’m sick of listening to the absolute rubbish being spouted by our politicians over the past few days regarding the asylum seekers issue.  Very few of them show even the tiniest amount of compassion for the desperation these refugees must be experiencing which leads them to hand over thousands of dollars to a criminal gang for a seat on a leaky, unseaworthy boat and the faint chance they might reach Australia and the possibility of a new life.  For some, the thought that they might drown at sea would be a risk worth taking and far preferable to spending their lives in a refugee camp in Malaysia or Indonesia.

The policies of both parties are wrong on this issue; both have as their first priority to keep these people out of Australia when the focus should be on finding ways to manage the legitimate needs of asylum seekers, fleeing dangers in their home countries.  Both parties denigrate the boat people as ‘economic refugees’.  For goodness sake, Australia was built on economic refugees who flooded out of Europe after WW2 because they saw the chance of a better life in the Lucky Country.  My own family was among them and Australia was so keen to have us they subsidised our fares and we came as £10 tourists.

The difference now is that today’s refugees are not white Europeans.  There’s no denying that there is a racist element to the debate.  The language used gives it away: illegal immigrants (it’s not illegal to seek asylum), queue-jumpers (there’s no queue, Australia doesn’t have a waiting list), and the media looks for ways of emphasising that many of the refugees are Muslims.

And what a farce to spend a whole day debating a bill which will be stopped in the Senate today.  Where is the integrity in that?  You need to go back to the drawing board, people, chuck out all the  mealy-mouthed excuses for a policy and start again.  Get your act together and start processing these refugees where they are – in Indonesia or Malaysia.  Increase the Australian  intake so that genuine refugees see a glimmer of hope for the future.  Put some funding into resettlement programs in south-east Asia to get these people out of camps.  The only way to stop the people-smugglers is to destroy their business plan by taking away the incentive for people to use the last resort of a boat. 

It was interesting that the Hobart Mercury this morning was the only capital-city newspaper to say, bring the refugees here, bring them to Tasmania for processing, we’ll look after them.  Interesting, isn’t it.

Sunday, June 24th .....

I had agreed that I would visit an artist to see whether the work she is doing might be suitable for the Craft Fair.  She lives in Miena which is high up in the Great Western Tiers on the shores of the Great Lake.  When I spoke to her on Friday, she suggested I come as soon as possible because they had already had some snow and, as the winter deepens, it might be hard to get through.

We woke to a beautiful day, bright sunshine and a good forecast, so we packed a picnic and set off.  There are a couple of ways to get to Miena from Launceston and we chose the one which might be the safer if the weather changed.  We expected to take about two hours.  First stop was Poatina for morning tea.  Poatina is an old Hydro village built in the 1950’s to accommodate workers building the pipeline from the highland lakes, down through the Poatina Power Station.  Like all these old villages, it deteriorated until most of it was bought by a Christian group called Fusion.

They now have a school and a training centre for at-risk teenagers.  With the help of our Rotary Club, they have established a Glass Workshop and seem to be having great success at turning young people around.  It’s a very pretty little village with pretty good infrastructure: motel, shop, restaurant and cafe, service station, and so on and just an hour from Launceston.  We noticed a house for sale: typical 50’s brick cottage, 3 bedrooms, 2 air conditioners, big yard - $162500.

When we climbed up from Poatina we encountered our first signs of snow but it was quite light and the road had obviously been cleared a day or two beforehand.  It was no problem for the Territory but I worried about the people in the little Hyundai who were beetling along ahead of us.  It wasn’t long before we reached Miena where it was still snowing.  It was easy enough to drive on the roads where there had been other vehicles before us, but as we turned into the artist’s street, the snow was fresh and unsullied and we slipped a bit.

The artist has a fantastic house which features beautiful timbers.  She paints and has had a lot of success, but is now turning to working with deer antlers, cow horns, mammoth ivory, whalebone and other exotic materials. She was born in Alaska and can access some of her materials there.  We were very impressed with the pieces she showed us and her stall should be a big hit, especially with men.  I was particularly drawn to a toilet holder made from antlers but I don’t think Marilyn was as enthusiastic. 

We got away as early as we could but the drive back was uneventful, apart from the sight of a nasty accident – the driver of a souped-up ute had clearly lost control and ploughed into a guard rail.  It’s the first time I’ve had the Territory in snow and the first time the anti-skid mechanism had kicked-in and it was all good.

Saturday, June 23rd .....

I enjoy a series on ABC Local radio which is called Conversations with Richard Fidler.  It airs at 11 o’clock each morning but I subscribe to the podcasts so I can hear them any time.  One I’ve listened to this week featured Ian Brown, a Canadian journalist whose son, Walker was born with a very rare genetic disorder.  There may only be about 130 people in the world with this condition.  Walker is now 14; when he was born there were probably 8 known cases, when he was 5, there were 20.   Ian Brown says: doctors can now keep these severely disabled children alive and then they hand them over to the parents to look after.  I suspect that, twenty years ago, some doctors might have made the decision not to go to too much trouble to help such a child to survive.  But today, what doctor would take the chance?

Walker can’t talk, seems to have no awareness of his surroundings and, if not restrained, hits himself constantly.  Nobody knows why.  Like all parents in this situation, Ian and his wife are often asked: If you could, would you change Walker.  Of course, we would, they say, not just for our sake but for Walker’s as well.  How could we sentence him to the life he is leading now? We have become used to parents of such children saying, sentimentally: We love him just the way he is.  It’s refreshing to hear an honest answer to the perennial question.

Like most parents with severely disabled children, Ian has often thought of suicide.  In a particularly Canadian way, he thinks of taking Walker into the mountains and lying down in a snow drift together.  At one point, though, Walker appeared on the point of death and his parents couldn’t contemplate what their lives would be like without him. 

Ian Brown says that one of the hardest things to live with is the way that people stare at Walker – a disfigured 14-year old in a stroller.  Teenage girls are the worst.  I loved his description of how this occurs.  He says that teenage girls live a life of conflict, at the same time wanting to stand out but needing to fit in.  They travel in threes, two short ones and a tall one.  They are all dressed the same – brief top, short skirts, the same wrist bands and so on.  The tall one is the leader and when she sees Walker she puts her hand to her mouth and leans down to whisper to the other two, and then they all stop and stare.  Ian says they are looking at their future as mothers and realising how hard that might be.

The conversation raised a lot of questions and some pretty significant philosophical issues.  Ian Brown has written a book, The Boy in the Moon and I am going to have to read it.

The hard part is trying to answer the questions Walker raises in my mind every time I pick him up. What is the value of a life like this – a life lived in twilight and often in pain? What is the cost of his life to those around him? “We spend a million dollars to save them,” a doctor said to me not long ago. “But then, when they’re discharged, we ignore them.”

Friday, June 22nd .....

I had seen this girl on the train in Japan reading a book called ‘Alex’s Adventures in Numberland’.  Because of her choice of reading material and her obvious shyness and the way in which she spoke to us, my first instinct was to suspect she might have Asperger’s Syndrome.  On reflection, of course, that was a real rush to judgement.  I had drawn a conclusion from the symptoms which may or may not have been correct.  After all, 2+2 doesn’t always make 4; if you’re working in Base 3, for example, it makes 11.

Yes, you’ve guessed it.  I had to go out and find the book and I have found it surprisingly readable and interesting.  It has 371 pages and I read 226 before I became bogged down – in an erudite discussion of pi and how many people have spent their lives calculating its value to thousands of decimal places.

The early chapters covered the history of mathematics and why we use 10 as the basis for our counting.  I was amazed to hear that there is a strong movement in various parts of the world which would prefer us to count in twelves.  They’ve invented two new numbers; dek and el.  The book also reminded me of the system used by Lincolnshire shepherds in medieval times –

Yan, Tan, Tethera, Pethera, Pimp,

Sethera, Lethera, Hovera, Covera, Dik

Yan-a-Dik, Tan-a-Dik, Tethera-Dik, Pethera-Dik, Bumfit,

and so on.

The interesting thing is that, in that system, a Pimp + a Dik = a Bumfit.

The book talks about many of the geniuses who’ve worked in this field and the eccentric people who dabble in the shallows.  Maki Kaji runs a Japanese magazine that specialises in number puzzles.  In his spare time he takes photographs of car number plates.  In Japan, a typical number plate has two numerals followed by two more numerals, like 56-72.  Kaji is interested in the plates where the first two numbers multiply together to make the second pair, like 35 –15 (3x5=15).  Apparently there are only 81 possible combinations, from 11-01 to 99-81.  Kaji has already photographed over 50; when he has the lot, he plans to exhibit them in a gallery.  I wonder who will go to see them.

I’m going to skip over rest of the chapter on pi and move on to phi, or the Golden Mean.  Watch this space.

Monday, June 18th .....

It's a cold morning in Dilston.  Marilyn and Jamie had to leave early so we all got up.  They were busy so it was my job to scrape the ice off the windscreen of the car.  It's certainly one of the down-sides of living in Tasmania.  Still, as the sun comes up it makes a wonderful show, shining through the last of the mist and sparkling on the ice crystals on the bushes.

We arrive back from more than three weeks away and note than not very much has changed in television land.  Channel 7 has no problems expecting that its viewers will devote three hours of their life to watching the Grand Finale of Dancing with the Stars.  Why is ‘finale’ a better word than ‘final’ or does ‘final’ have too much connection with the football?  I can’t get over Mel B suggesting in her awful accent that we have a look at ‘the Bioglan Leader Board’.  Has no one at Channel 7 any sense of the ridiculous?  There’s something faintly rude about the word Bioglan and it shouldn’t be bandied around on prime-time television.

Channel 9 still pushes the delights of The Block and The Voice.  We watched the Grand Finale of The Voice last night and are agog to hear the results tonight.  It’s supposed to be a show about singing but there were just 9 minutes of song in 180 minutes of ‘Grand Finale’. One of the finalists is called Rachael Leahcar.  Has anyone else noted that her surname is just a reversal of her first name?  What’s that all about?  Clearly, it’s a stage name but which highly-paid publicist came up with that gem?

And then there’s Masterchef.  The best we could do with that is to record it and hope that there’s a window in the next week or so to view it back.  I don’t suppose I’ll be too upset if we miss it.

Our big surprise was to find that, in our absence, a new show has come to Channel 9 – Tricky Business.  To be quite honest, it started just before we left but we hadn’t bothered to watch it.  And now we find that it’s set in Wollongong and is about a family called Christie!  Spooky!  I think the last show which attempted to put Wollongong on the map was the Aunty Jack Show (do you remember Wollongong the Brave, and the  “I’ve been everywhere” song?

                I’ve been to Wollongong, Wollongong, Wollongong, Wollongong, Wollongong, Wollongong, Dapto, and Wollongong.

Anyway, it’s great to see the familiar views of the city and the references to Austinmer and Fairy Meadow.

Sunday, June 17th .....

We’ve been back for a couple of days and it’s time to reflect on what was quite an extensive and expensive holiday. I had devoted countless hours to the organisation of the Japanese component, which was by far the most complicated but had left it to Royal Caribbean to get the cruise right and made no particular plans for Beijing, trusting that something would turn up.

First the positives: Japan was a delight, everything that we expected and more. We saw places that we had not visited before and re-visited a couple of old favourites. The accommodation was excellent and the food outstanding, I had worked out a budget for that leg and we spent the last $9.40 in Otaru before we sailed off to Russia, so that was pleasing.

China was a revelation. Grasping the opportunity for some sight-seeing, we saw remarkable things and realise we need more time to see this wonderful country in the future. Oliver, our tour guide, was a great advertisement for his country and looked after us really well.

The Legend of the Seas is a beautiful ship and our cabin was spotless and comfortable. Sited, as it was, adjacent to the coffee shop was a bonus. Drinks were cheaper than on other cruise ships and their scotch whiskey cocktails were generous and delicious. Like other cruise ships, RCI is in the business of gouging their passengers for every last dollar. Every day, a sheet of bargains available at the shops is delivered to every cabin. There are more waiters trying to sell drinks than any other staff members. The Spa is a rip-off and the Art Auctions are interminable.

Still, in that respect, RCI is no different from any other cruise line. Continuing the negative, although the food was good, there were no outstanding dishes to look back on. Breakfast was the same every morning and there was never enough fresh fruit. There wasn’t enough to do on board, although we were content to read our books. I don’t know what they could have arranged that would have interested us.

The choice of shore excursions was limited and the one we chose, in Vladivostok, was second-rate, probably not the cruise line’s fault but it was sold under the RCI banner. Would we cruise again with RCI? Probably, but we would lower our expectations

It’s always good to fly though Changi Airport but the new Terminal 3 at Beijing will give it a run for its money. Built for the Olympics, it’s very spacious with comfortable places to sit but, on the negative side, it’s impossible to get a drink there and the Duty Free is not up-to-scratch.

Perhaps the most difficult aspect of the trip for us was dealing with the different nationalities on board the ship. Part of that was the crew’s need to say everything in 3 or 4 languages, which became very boring and meant that nobody listened to anything. But part of it was also the cultural differences between the different nationalities. We pride ourselves on not being racist but our patience was taxed by the lack of respect shown by some other passengers to Europeans, and the ignoring of basic conventions. Nowadays, every cruise ship expects passengers to use disinfectant gel before entering the Dining Room. A great number of passengers refused to comply, which is a real issue if it’s a buffet. Standing back to allow someone else to go ahead is an accepted part of our culture, but clearly not of some others. It’s as if some people have no peripheral vision and are single-minded about getting to the front of the line. We follow arrows because that’s clearly the way that the crew has decided is the best way to go; not everyone sees that and cut corners as a matter of course.

I shouldn’t whinge and we met some delightful people of all nationalities on board but we certainly felt more disquiet about the level of people’s behaviour after this cruise than any previous. Having said that, we’ve met lots of Australian abroad who make us cringe and Americans are not always the easiest people to travel with.

 

Wednesday, June 13th …..

We had no plans to visit any of the famous sites in China but, on a whim, we decided to do a bit of sight-seeing and the past two days have been the highlights of our trip. We have glimpsed some of the most remarkable achievements in the history of mankind and can put in perspective that the so-called miracles of the modern age pale into insignificance when you look at the scale of wonders like the pyramids, the rice terraces of the Philippines and the Great Wall – all done by hand, too.

It was an early start but it gave us enough time to drive through the Olympic Precinct built for the 2008 Games. The 7-star hotel built in the shape of a dragon dominates the skyline but you have to be very close to see it; the pollution is appalling. This photo is heavily photoshopped to make it clearer. The level of petro-chemicals in the atmosphere seems to be just a part of life in Vladivostok and Beijing but we certainly wouldn’t accept it here.

We were full of anticipation as we headed for the wall and we couldn’t help but notice the similarities between the rural villages and other places in South-East Asia. We could have been in Thailand or the Philippines and, when we reached the approaches to the Wall, it was just like Nepal; colourfully-dressed locals with stalls loaded with garish souvenirs.

It’s a long steep walk up a cobble-stoned street to the foot of the Wall. Thankfully, there is now a cable-car for the main part, but then there is a set of steps for the last few metres. The steps are up to 60cm deep and not level. I’ve been having trouble with my knee and found it a real issue to get up this section. But, at last, we’re standing on the Wall itself … and walking along … and imagining the effort involved in building just this section we’re standing on now. It’s an average of 9m high and 6.5m across. It’s made of roughly-cut stone and each piece might weigh 20 or 30Kg. It’s built on the ridge-tops so that the Mongolians on the other side would have to climb uphill if they wanted to attack. How did the builders ever do it?

We weren’t there long enough but we needed to get back to the airport. On the way down, Marilyn wanted to buy some baby pyjamas. The price quoted was 860 RMB but the stall-holder offered a discount making it 680RMB. Oliver became involved and eventually knocked the price down to 200. Later on another stallholder tried to sell Marilyn a dressing gown for 800 RMB and chased her down the street reducing the price with every step. It got down to 60RMB before we shook her off.

There was a bit of time left so Oliver took us to a government-owned factory where they make cloisonné. French cloisonné is different but the Chinese have adopted the term. Talk about primitive – the factory was a series of filthy little rooms where each step of the process takes place. One man makes the base – vase, bowl, animal shape, etc, from copper pieces, cut on an ancient guillotine and soldered by hand. The next step is to glue on copper wire to outline the shape of the design. Then hand-paint the various colours, fire the piece and re-paint up to 8 times. The kiln was an OH&S officer’s nightmare and so was the room where a man ground off the excess copper using pieces of stone held in his bare hands.

The pieces were exquisite and quite pricey but, seeing how time-consuming the process was, I wondered whether many of the smaller and cheaper pieces came from a modern factory where they could be mass-produced. No matter, but I left the workshop wondering what it is about the Asian mentality which allows them to accept the most primitive and dangerous of working conditions and make no attempt to, at the very least, keep them clean.

As Marilyn has said, it would have been a shame to come this far and not see just a little of the history and culture of this extraordinary civilization. We were absolutely exhausted getting on the plane and, when we had to sit waiting for two and a half hours for a break in the weather, we knew it was going to be a tough flight. Thankfully, we had allowed for an overnight stopover in Singapore so we know there is a bed waiting for us.

Tuesday, June 12th .....

We had arranged a car to meet us at the dock in Tianjin and they promised to be there by 8 o’clock, but the ship decided that we were low on the priority list and designated us as #6, to be off-loaded around 9.20am. Not good enough, said Marilyn and shot off to work out a deal. The best they could offer was an upgrade to #3, expected to get off about 8.20. That was OK and not long after that we were being led to the gangway. A fellow scurried alongside and pushed in front of me. I’m getting used to that so thought nothing of it until I noticed that his bag was tagged #9. I don’t know why the ship tries to do things in an orderly way when half the passengers are marching to a different drum.

The guide was there as expected and we were off in the luxurious Buick with an ETA in Beijing of 11.30. Great, it’s a pleasant day and we’re fresh so we negotiated some sightseeing. The road between Tianjin and Beijing is first-class, minimum of four lanes each way and three times that at toll-gates. Each lane has a different speed limit: 120 in the fastest, 80 in the slowest. Tianjin is a very industrialized part of China and pollution is shocking. We were told that strong winds over the past few days had cleared the worst of it so it must have been horrendous before the wind blew.

First stop in Beijing was a local restaurant for a typical Chinese buffet. I’ve never seen so much food. There must have been 20 bain maries, groaning with dishes, a table with salads, a chef carving Peking Duck, another chef making noodles, and a huge table with desserts. Drinks were included so there was a soft drink machine, 2 beer taps, and a coffee machine. We were still coming down from 10 days of over-eating on the ship so we didn’t make much of an impression but it was a great meal.

We then spent the afternoon at the Temple of Heaven, the Forbidden City, and Tienanmen Square. Everything is on such a huge scale that it’s mind-blowing. We saw two brides at the Temple but the highlight of the visit was having tea at the Tea House and trying different blends. We ended up carting away five tins of tea and two rude little objects which can tell whether the water is hot enough to make good tea. Ostensibly, we only paid for three tins and the rest were gifts but I can’t help feeling there was some sleight of hand involved somewhere. It took some juggling to get them into my suitcase.

At the Forbidden City, we were approached by a number of women wanting to have their photographs taken with us. One group was from a remote province and may never have seen a foreigner but I can’t imagine we were the only foreigners in the huge crowd in the Forbidden City so something about us must have aroused their curiosity. I’ve got my own theories but I don’t want to appear big-headed

Tomorrow, we’ve booked Oliver and the driver, Mr Liew, to take us to the Great Wall – a 7.30 start so that we can be at the airport in plenty of time for our 1645 flight to Singapore.

We’re staying at the Crowne Plaza, not a bad pub but it seems that half the cruise is here as well. We had a chat with a couple at dinner time and compared experiences. Like us, they felt the cruise was a little underdone and preferred Holland-America. Interesting objects in the back of our wardrobe – two gas masks, posing as fire protection but stating quite clearly on the container that they are designed for CO (carbon-monoxide), HCN (hydrogen cyanide) and poisonous smoke and fog.

Monday, June 11th .....

Tonight is our last night on the ship we‘ve just about packed, leaving just enough room for the clothes we discard after dinner and the Farewell Concert. Last night the entertainment was a group of 4 men who sing a capella. They’re all American but they live in Hong Kong because they get most of their work in Asia and they’ve had to learn to sing in various languages. Needless to say, they were great. After 14 years making a living this way, they’ve polished their act brilliantly. All their songs were good but the best was Someone I Used to Know by Gotye (I hope that’s how you spell it). They said it was a massive hit in Australia and has been #1 on the American charts for 10 weeks. Not surprising, it’s a great song!

Sailing out of Busan last night was one of the best exits we’ve had from a foreign port. There was another cruise ship berthed just around the corner from us – one of the Costa ships which must be feeling the pinch at the moment. I got talking to an Australian on the deck as we passed out through the port entrance. I thought he sounded a little tipsy and one of the other passengers told me why. He had bought one of the pre-cruise beverage packages which give him unlimited beer, wine or cocktails. It cost him $45 per day, so $450 for the cruise. The problem is, he only drinks beer, so at $5 or $6 a glass, he’s got to drink 8 or 9 a day. When he goes ashore for an excursion, he misses out on drinking time which he has to make up later, and his wife insists they go ashore at every opportunity. Poor bugger; he’s determined not to do his dough, but he’s losing ground.

At last we had a day without fog and people came out in the evening full of the joys of spring. The Farewell Show was pretty good, the highlight act was a Kiwi juggler but the Dancers and Singers stole the show. The Cruise Director, Dan Dan, produced the predictable list of the ten dumbest questions which passengers ask. We’ve heard the same list on at least three ships so it’s starting to wane: Does this elevator take me to the front of the ship? Do the crew sleep on board? Does the ship generate its own electricity? and so on.

The big Centrum show for the last night was a 70’s disco which didn’t start until 10.30. Marilyn and I had been dropping off to sleep all day so we gave the disco a miss and went to bed. I can’t imagine how the crew keep up the pace – still working at midnight but expected to be on duty for breakfast the next morning, looking chirpy and cheery.

Sunday, June 10th …..

We’re in Busan today and all our Korean passengers are finishing their cruise here. I think almost all of the other passengers are on excursion because there were 30 buses waiting on the dock when we arrived. Marilyn and I were not enthused by any of the offerings which seemed a bit thin on content and depended on a Korean buffet lunch and a visit to the fishmarket. Even though there were three separate offerings, they all had the same ingredients. For generations, the market has been controlled by middle-aged married women; we heard a group of Australians discussing what they should do today and the thought of visiting a place controlled by middle-aged married women was not an attraction. However, again, the ship is almost empty. I’ve just been for a walk around and only saw 5 others.

Arriving about the same time as we did was a ferry from Osaka, about the same size as the Spirit of Tasmania and apparently there’ a regular run between the two cities. I met a fellow once who was travelling around on a motor-bike and he said he had travelled from the mainland to Japan by ferry so this might have been the way he did it.

We saw another great show last night: Swing City. The music was terrific and the costumes outstanding. On Friday night there was an Australian magician who had a pretty good act but nothing new. The big attraction for Friday night was The Quest, a game show where teams of 6 had to produce objects to get points. It was another way to try and get the different nationalities to work together and it was good fun. Some of the things they had to produce was a driver’s licence, a picture of an animal, a photograph just taken of womens’ underwear, a man with a bra on his head, a woman wearing a man’s trousers inside out and back to front.

As you can see it escalated quite quickly to bawdy and raucous, but we spectators enjoyed it. One thing I have trouble with is people who just don’t bother with the rules, no matter how simple. Rule #1- Only one person to bring out the object. Bugger that, let’s all go, and it’s chaos. Rule #2 – No running, and you can imagine how successful that one was. As an ex-school teacher, you can also imagine how much I want to yell at them

I’m sorry to say there is a lack of good manners on board: shoving ahead of you into the lifts, blocking other people’s way at the buffet line, and so on. This morning at breakfast, my table was hijacked by a woman who thought she would like to sit there, so she just sat down. I tried to argue with her but it was easier to move to another table. Marilyn and I were playing Shuffleboard on the deck yesterday and a group came up and started playing on the same court, so we smiled and left them to it. They’re small things and not worth fighting over but they become annoying after a while.

Friday, 8th June …..

Yesterday was a ‘sea-day’ when we don’t have a port to visit and there’s often a bit more arranged for the passengers. Still, we’re happy to avoid craft classes and bingo and have the occasional cup of coffee while we read or play cards. There was a terrific show on in the theatre called Invitation to Dance so we went to that and then came back to the Centrum to listen to the band for an hour or so before going to bed. Centrum is what they call the base of the atrium where they have lots of activities .... and I thought it was brand of vitamins.

The band is called the Dynamic Duo, a man and woman from Jamaica – she sings, he plays keyboard. I suppose we arrived at about 9.15 with lots of others from the show or who were just finishing dinner. It was a Formal Night so many people were dressed up. One Korean woman in a red dress had obviously had a few drinks and wanted to dance and that set the mood for the evening. The band was great and gradually built up the atmosphere until everyone around was relaxed and uninhibited. One of the waiters got a congo line going and the small dancefloor was packed. One elderly woman who walked around with two sticks was on her feet moving to the music and another disabled woman in an electric scooter waved her hands about to the rhythm.

And then, at 11 o’clock we saw two miracles. The woman with the sticks threw them away and danced unaided, and the woman in the electric scooter stood up and danced without support. Ah, the power of music!

Marilyn and I were on the 6th floor looking down on the revelries and we could see people on the different levels dancing in their individuals spaces. All the nationalities were taking part and this was the first time we had seen them mixing in any way. Some of the Korean women were interesting: moving their feet and their arms without any expression on their faces. One woman on our level was clearly not used to dancing and made random shuffles with her feet and moved her arms as if she was doing PE or breast-enhancement exercises. And that’s the magic of the music: people forget their inhibitions and allow themselves to be carried away by the moment.

Today we visited Vladivostock. I was quite prepared to say it was a grey city because the weather is foul and we’re still experiencing fog (6 days in a row now) but there’s a lot of work being done to brighten up the buildings and make a city which will attract tourists. Before we enter any port somebody gives a rundown on the history and what we can expect to find. The expert for Vladivostok was a Canadian professor who scared the life out of us by talking about the Russian paranoia and the KGB and what would happen if we didn’t have the correct paperwork. We had booked on an afternoon tour excursion so we weren’t too worried.

We went off in the morning to get some roubles because the ship is not allowed to carry them. It was easy enough to find an ATM so in went the card and I selected English. The machine clicked to the next screen, which was still in Russian. I tried to guess where the cancel button might be but all I got was my balance (quite a lot of roubles, I’m pleased to say). At least I got my card back so I tried again. Still no English so I pressed what I assumed was the withdrawal, then selected 1000 and the screen asked me something in Russian with two options: one was clearly Da and the other Nyet, so I chose Da. Good choice; I got a 1000 rouble note and a slip telling me that my balance had been reduced by 1000. Just what I hoped would happen. Into a tiny shop to buy a small item so I would have change and we were set for the afternoon.

The excursion was a bit odd. All the tour buses are built in Korea – very comfortable and a bit kitsch in their interior design. Ours had elaborate curtains and doilies on the back of the seats. Russians drive on the RH side of the road and the driver’s seat is placed accordingly, on the left. The odd thing is that most cars are right-hand drive. We didn’t really get an explanation for this but it seems to go back to 1991 when the Soviet Union fell and Russians had access to second-hand Japanese cars for the first time and, of course, these are built with the driver’s seat on the right.

The traffic is horrendous and parking is haphazard to say the least. Road maintenance is non-existent and we were appalled at the dangerous driving. We were taken to see a museum – stuffed birds and snakes in bottles, a Russian Orthodox Church (the priest had a hissy fit and wouldn’t let us in) and a submarine museum. We became aware of a man in an overcoat and carrying a briefcase hanging around us in the park near the submarine. We decided he must have been the KGB (or the man from KAOS) so I surreptitiously took his photograph and he scurried off. The highlight of the excursion was to be a lookout so we could get an overview of the town, but the fog was very thick and it was 100 steps to the top so Marilyn and I gave that a miss. We were also supposed to visit the GUM Department store but ran out of time so that was our excursion.

Apparently, Vladivistok is the base for the Russian Pacific fleet and I was hopeful of seeing some battleships but, as I said, the fog was thick and we couldn’t see very far. In the morning before we got off I noticed a shape in the mist which seemed to be coming towards us and gradually it took the shape of a small warship. As it came closer, we could see the gun turrets on the deck, but then we realized there were no guns in them. The ship was very shabby and derelict so we suspect it was on its way to the scrapyard.

Thursday, June 7th …..

We have a great cabin, it’s about the middle of the boat and close to the lifts so we don’t have interminable treks along narrow corridors if we want to go anywhere. The best thing, though, is that we are just two steps from the Latte-tudes coffee shop where they make fantastic cappuccinos. The coffee on the ship is the same as they use at Starbucks. Just recently, the company installed a Cupcake Cupboard in Latte-tudes (don’t you just love the pun). All their new ships will have one but Legend of the Sea is only the 7th ship in the company’s fleet of 22 to have this facility. I know all this because the Cupcake Supervisor (or Miss Cupcake) proudly told us all about it. It’s clearly a franchise and just another gimmick to get that point of difference with all the other ships trying to grab the same market.

It seems there’s an inspector on board and so she was a bit toey yesterday, worrying about what he might say when he came around. There was a bit of background going on, tidying and cleaning and checking that all the staff knew what they were doing. There’s one young fellow who seems to have the morning shift. He’s Chinese, wears horn-rimmed glasses and isn’t strong with English. He knows he needs to chat with the customers but it’s painful to try and have a sensible conversation so my heart sinks when he comes over to say Hi.

Yesterday was inspection day so another crew member came around to check his knowledge of coffee-making. The supervisor is Indian with that typical sing-song accent so the interaction between these two was like a Two Ronnies comedy sketch. ‘How many grams of coffee would you need for a single-shot?’ asked the supervisor. ‘How many grams…?’ replied the Chinese fellow, stalling for time and desperately trying to understand what was being asked. ‘Yes, how many grams!’ ‘How many grams ….?’

And ‘How many degrees should the milk be if you are making a latte?’ ‘How many deg…?’ ‘Yes, yes, how many degrees?’ And so it went. When the inspector finally arrived, the Chinese chappie was nowhere in sight. Perhaps he had been sent off to get a left-handed screwdriver, or something. And there’s another member of staff on duty this morning in the café.

As I write this, there’s a fruit-carving demonstration in the atrium, with three hosts, giving the commentary in three different languages. It’s getting embarrassing: at the show each night, the Cruise Director comes on stage to introduce the acts with two interpreters trailing behind him. We hear everything at least three times.

We didn’t sail until midnight last night. Japanese immigration were on board to see us off the premises, so to speak. The local community of Otaru had sent along their drum team to farewell us and what a fantastic demonstration they gave. In many ways it was a total shambles, more like a party act than a formal exhibition. There were some old men (even older than me), a couple of younger men, young women and a group of 4 or 5 teenage females who wore differently coloured jackets to signify, I suppose that they were beginners. There were 4 smaller drums and one big one and about 15 performers to play them. The pattern seemed to be to move around from drum to drum, having a bash on one of the smaller ones and then pushing your way up to the big one to belt the hell out of that for a while before someone pushed you out to have his or her turn.

One rather hefty woman was clearly the motivator with the most infectious smile. She kept chanting Goh, Goh, Goh, Goh, and some of the younger ones would say Tche, Tche, Tche. Everybody on stage was absolutely elated by their involvement. After about 15 minutes of mayhem, at some signal they all moved to their specific station, drummed for a few bars and finished with a massive flourish. I’ve seen taiko drumming before but this was something different, maybe specific to this area. People will leave Otaru with the best memories.

Wednesday, June 6th …..

It’s another quiet day on the ship. We docked in Otaru this morning and there were 16 buses lined up at the dock waiting for our passengers. Again, Marilyn and I are not having a shore excursion. These little towns are charming in their own way but they’re not set up for tourism and it seems pointless to drive for an hour to look at a lake. It’s better to wait until we get to Vladivostock where we can see the house where Yul Brynner’s family lived (that’s being sarcastic, by the way. Only the Americans would want to see the house of someone related to a celebrity.)

We did get off the ship for a walk. We’re docked in the town and it’s not far, through an industrial area, to the local Mall. Japanese malls are no different from any others. Unlike Osaka, or other cities who get lots of tourists, the one here had no signs in English. Still, we had a very short shopping list: black socks for me. Somehow, I had only packed one pair even though I wear dark trousers to dinner every night. We had a bit of small change left over from the currency I had brought from Tasmania and it seemed a good idea to spend it. In fact, we had ¥756, about $9.40, so were pleased that we were able to buy 2pairs of pretty good socks, a box of bandaids, three bananas and a small packet of sembai biscuits (I think that’s how you spell it; they’re made of rice and there are hundreds of varieties).

It’s disappointing that we have to buy bananas. We had breakfast in the dining room this morning and were handed a big menu which included bananas, grapefruit and prunes, none of which were available. Perhaps the menu has been amended to cater for Asian tastes but I would have thought that fruit would be a priority. All we seem to get is melon and pineapple, with tinned peaches and pears, swimming in syrup.

We were talking to a German fellow after breakfast who told us that he and his wife are being off-loaded in Busan because they don’t have a Chinese visa. There are a dozen others in the same boat (or in fact, being off-loaded from the same boat.) He’s livid because his travel agent in Bowral told him he didn’t need one and he took her word for it. He’s tried to ring her but she’s in Ireland getting married and couldn’t care less. It’s certainly a trap and getting proper advice can be very expensive. The moral of the story: don’t believe someone who is only interested in the commission she is getting.

There’s nothing much happening today: the dining room is closed and so is the Latte-tudes coffee shop. Marilyn’s having a snooze and I’m bored. Not a good way to feel on a cruise.

Tuesday, June 5th …..

I think the ship is all but empty this morning. There’s the occasional ghostly staff member or passenger passing by but the corridors are deserted and no one is at the buffet. We’re in Hakodate on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido and fleets of buses have been transporting our passengers away since we docked at 8 o’clock. Marilyn and I decided that going in to the town would be just more of what we have been experiencing over the past week, so we’re having a quiet day reading and eating.

We’ve found a quiet corner in the Crown Viking Lounge on Deck 11. The seats are comfortable and the views panoramic. We had breakfast quite early and were up here by 8.30. Marilyn got fidgety and wandered off to check out the mini-golf course but I was enjoying the sun and let her get on with it. I closed my eyes and dozed off but was woken abruptly by the sound of a man chipping away at some rust outside my window. When I came to, I was aware of official-sounding voices not too far away. I went to have a look and on the other side of a partition, out of my sight, they were holding a Civic Reception for the Mayor of Hakodate to welcome the ship to the port. Everything was being translated and I found out that this was Legend of the Sea’s first visit to Hakodate and the first cruise ship to come here for more than two years. The mayor was also delighted that it was the largest cruise ship ever to visit here.

The captain replied by saying that we were, in fact, one of the smallest ships in the RCI fleet and that the mayor could expect bigger and bigger ships to come in future years. There was also a Question and Answer session with local reporters and I’m pleased to say that the questions were just as inane from the Japanese press as they are in Australia. What do you think of Hakodate? Are you pleased to be here? What do you hope to see when you go to town?
Among the Mayor’s entourage was Miss Hakodate, looking very smart in her prim suit and little hat and wearing her sash which proclaimed her celebrity. Although I really shouldn’t have been there, I couldn’t resist stealing a picture of her. When they had all gone, one of the waitresses brought me morning tea from the leftovers.

At dinner last night we had, next to us, a table of 10 passengers from the Ukraine. We thought they were Russian but at the late show we were given a rundown on the 26 countries represented in the passenger list and Russia was not among them. It seemed like a family gathering but they were mostly young men. One of them insisted on buying a bottle of Chinese Rice Liqueur which they doled out. It smelled of Ethyl Alcohol and I’ll bet it tasted like turpentine. However, they finished the bottle. There was only one child at the table, a boy of maybe 12 or 13 and he amused himself by swapping his almost-finished plate with the fresh dinners of the older men – it caused gales of laughter, although that might have been the rice liqueur.

Getting back to the passenger list, I can’t recall the full details but the there are 99 Brits, 250 Australian, 274 Japanese and over 300 Chinese. We’ve noticed wherever we go, whenever the subject of Australians comes up, someone always says Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, and we dutifully reply Oy, Oy, Oy. It was Dan the Cruise Director who said it last night and, when he got the response he expected, he said, ‘Oh, you Australians are so reliable.’ Or maybe it was predictable. Anyway, there are times when it can be embarrassing.

Marilyn has come back from her reconnaisance of the golf course and reports that nobody turned up for the 9.30 Golf Tournament and the staff at the Climbing Wall had to talk to themselves because there was no-one else there. As I said, it’s a ghost ship.

This ship has some differences with ones we’ve been on before. They don’t serve as much fresh fruit and we saw apples and oranges this morning for the first time. Marilyn is missing her daily banana. Drinks are cheaper: $6 for a glass of bubbly compared to $7.50 on Princess, and they have a cocktail list which includes scotch-based drinks. I had a Rusty Nail on Sunday night (Drambuie and JW Red Label shaken with ice - $6.50) and last night I had a Chivas Sidecar (12 yo Chivas Regal shaken with Grand Marnier and sweet and sour worth every cent).
The price of duty free alcohol is also ridiculous. Sydney Duty Free will sell you 2 bottles of JW Red Label Scotch for $49, in Singapore it was $40 for 2 bottles of Teachers, on the ship you can get two bottles of Dewars or Red Label for $35. Two bottles of Smirnoff Vodka, $19.95 or 2 bottles of Baileys for $35. 1 litre bottles too.

Monday, June 4th …..

Maybe I was wrong in my estimation of the number of Australians on board as the place seems to be crawling with them today. I saw a couple who reminded me of Robyn and her friend, Pam, who are booked on a cruise to New Zealand on the Sun Princess. What made them stand out from the crowd was that they each carried a green Woolworths bag. I hope Robyn reads this and leaves her Woolies bag at home when she goes on her cruise – very embarrassing. Marilyn tells me not to worry: apparently, Robyn carries her Harrods bag wherever she goes and Harrods, of course, is where all the best people shop.
It’s interesting sailing with people from Asia. I know we tend to lump them all together and expect that they will all behave in the same way but, of course, each nationality has different traits and within each group are individuals. One thing that does stand out is that they don’t tend to become involved in the things which are popular with European or American passengers. Today, Bingo was almost deserted, the cup cake decorating class had no takers and the art auction was a washout.
Constantine, the auctioneer tried his hardest but hardly raised a flicker of enthusiasm. He started by trying to identify who was in the ‘crowd’ of about twenty people. He must have expected the Chinese passengers to turn up because he brought an interpreter with him but he only had one, there were no Koreans, no Poms, about three Japanese and the rest were Australians. When he asked whether there were any other nationalities one clown at the bag said, ‘Tasmania’.
I know there were two Americans there because they sat beside me, but they had only come for the free champagne. I noticed that they drank the first one quite quickly and the woman hopped up to get fresh ones. Fair enough, except they disappeared too and the man, this time, went up to get the next lot. I nudged Marilyn and we watched closely, three drinks gone and the woman is heading off to get more. She came back with a sad face so the bloke heaved himself to his feet and went off to bully the poor waitress who was handing them out. It took him a while but back he came with their fourth glass each. He must have softened up the waitress because his wife (and drinking partner) had no trouble in getting their fifth which they managed to finish before the auction actually began, so they didn’t have to sit through that. Ah, life on the ocean wave.
We woke up this morning to fog which didn’t clear until about 3 o’clock. The sound of the foghorn was one thing but the band was playing the theme from Titanic. All we needed was an iceberg to make the trifecta. It’s just after 6.30pm and the fog has come in again so we’re in for a mournful night.
It’s formal night tonight and we’re booked in for dinner at 8pm and we’ll probably try and stay up for the show at 10. It’s called Absolutely Fabulous and is based on the music of the 60s and 70s which swept America. We’ve seen a similar show on the Diamond Princess and if this is half as good I’ll be delighted.

Sunday, June 3rd …..

Marilyn and I are avid people-watchers and Japan is a great place to indulge in our hobby. The population is so uniform that unusual people stand out. On the train today we found ourselves sharing a row of seats with a young woman from Cambridge, UK. She was traveling alone and was coming to the end of her Japanese holiday. She was clearly shy and was reading a book called Alex’s Adventures in Numberland. Working with people with autism makes us ultra-sensitive but we couldn’t help wondering whether she had Aspergers.

On the Romantic train the other day, a young man sat in the seat opposite. He never made eye contact and looked decidedly uncomfortable, holding his bag on his lap and clutching a clipboard with numbers written on it. Perhaps they were the numbers of the different locomotives he had seen. A Japanese trainspotter, perhaps.

This morning, we had booked a taxi for 8.15 and the train for 9.40 but, again, we were up early, hailed a taxi in the street, were having breakfast by 7.30 and changed our tickets for the 8.13 train instead. Because we had gone straight to Shin-Osaka we weren’t able to have our usual breakfast at the Diamor Mall so went into a Starbucks instead. Marilyn had a ham and cheese muffin and I had a sausage and omelette muffin – very exotic but delicious. We’re not having a lot of trouble making ourselves understood but the staff in Starbucks just couldn’t cope with Marilyn’s order of a small half-strength skinny cappuccino, and a tall flat white. She even picked up the cardboard cup to show them the size I wanted for my flat white. We ended up with a tall cappuccino and a single shot in a tiny cup. Doesn’t matter!

The train trip was uneventful and we were on board by about 1 o’clock. This was by far the slickest check-in we have ever encountered. When we’ve sailed from Sydney it’s been a shambles, Singapore was confusing and Auckland was a nightmare. Today, we just sailed through with no fuss.

I don’t think the ship is full by any means. Mostly Japanese, I suppose but we hear there are 100 Koreans getting off in Busan, a good number of Chinese, enough pommies to make an impression and more than a few Australians. We’ve only noticed a handful of Americans but they are hard to overlook. At the check-in, we had handed over our luggage and were sent to a different area to fill in visa papers for Russia. A couple of Americans were behind us and, instead of sussing out what was going on, one of them yelled, ‘Where do I check in?’ That doesn’t go down well with the well-mannered Japanese.
The ship is beautiful, spotlessly clean and not showing its age at all.

We had the usual muster at 5 o’clock for lifeboat drill and we experienced for the first time the joys of a multi-cultural passenger list. Everything was repeated in 4 languages – English, Japanese, Chinese and Korean. Marilyn says she heard another European language in there as well but I had tuned off. The same thing occurred at the Welcome Show in the evening. The Cruise Director stood on stage with two off-siders and gave his spiel which was translated into Japanese and Chinese. The Cruise Director is from Seattle, the Japanese interpreter is from Brazil, the Chinese speaker is from China, the Programs Manager is from India so it’s a polyglot lot

Saturday, June 2nd …..

I was astounded this morning as our plans hit a snag. There were no seats on the train we wanted to catch and the later train would not have suited so we were faced with a choice. In fact, the only thing we wanted to do was take a long train trip, have lunch and then come back. There were literally hundreds of possibilities, except the one we had first chosen, so we decided to take the bullet train to Tokyo instead.

On the way, as we whizzed along at some crazy speed, we started talking about the logistics of getting to the boat tomorrow and Marilyn suggested that we might follow Robyn’s normal practice of having a trial run, so we hopped off the train at Shin-Yokohama and followed the planned route. It was relatively easy but we were able to confirm where the escalators or elevators were (they don’t have lifts in Japan) and check the easiest way for the final few hundred metres to the pier.

Osanbashi Pier is a marvel. This weekend is the 10th anniversary of its opening and there were lots of festivities, including a street market and a mini-carnival for the kids. Apparently, Osonbashi is always busy with one thing or another and today was really not very different. There were girls on the top deck practicing their traditional dancing, the Royal Wave was setting sail for a harbour cruise, and an old rocker was playing electric guitar to a bunch of seniors inside (I say he was an old rocker but his repertoire included Pearly Shells and Love Letters in the Sand). One old fellow was so moved he pushed his walking frame aside and danced a soft-shoe shuffle to the music. There was also something on in the Concert Hall which is part of this huge complex.

We had lunch at Harbor’s Café (that’s how it was written). Marilyn had prawn, egg, tomato and lettuce sandwiches and I had the all-day breakfast – pink fried rice, meat patty and gravy, salad and a fried egg on top. Yum!

We’re comfortable that we’ll find our way tomorrow without too much hassle. The taxi is booked for 8.15 to get us on to the 9.40 Hikari to Shin-Yokohama and the bags are packed. The bike I mentioned earlier is still there and untouched and I think I might have found the winner of the caption competition we saw on the Takamatsu train. (Since we saw the poster, we’ve noticed that the platform guards, waving off the trains point forward, backwards and up at the indicator board before blowing their whistle. Maybe that’s it.)