Among all the dross and detritus which Black Friday dumped on my computer was this little poem. I've managed to work my way through it so it all makes sense but I'm struggling with reading it out loud. Just think, if we'd stayed in Scotland instead of coming to Australia, I might have ended up speaking like this.
BLACK FRIDAY - James Copeland
Oot
behind a lorry
Payin’
nae heed
Ablow a
double-decker
A poor
wean deid.
Perra
worn sannies
Wee
durrty shoes
Heh,
erra polis
Stand
back, please!
Lookit
the conductress
Face as
white as chalk,
Heh, see
the driver but
Cannae
even talk.
Anyone a
witness?
Naw, we
nivir saw.
Glad ah’m
no’ the polis
Goin’ to
tell his maw.
Weemin
windae-hingin’
Herts in
their mooth
It’s no
oor close, Lizzie
Oh,
Gawdstrooth!
Screams
on the landin’
Twa
closes doon
It’s no’
wee Hughie!
Poor
Nellie Broon.
Phone up
the shipyards
Oh, whit
a shame!
Yes,
we’ll inform him
Please
repeat his name.
See Big
Hughie
Jokin’
wi’ the squad
Better
knock off, Heug,
Oh, dear
God.
Whit?
No’ his laddie
Ah,
bloody hell!
D’ye see
Hughie’s face but?
He’s
just a boy hissel.
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