Friday, June 29th .....

I’ve always been a great fan of quotes.  I don’t particularly mean the ‘posh’ quotes you read at the beginning of books or in literary essays; I like the common man quotes from Monty Python or Fawlty Towers – ‘Don’t mention the war!’ for example.

Today I heard a quote from Raymond Chandler.  I haven’t read Raymond Chandler since I was in High School and I had never thought of him as worth quoting, but now I find there are websites dedicated to listing the interesting things he said.  Here’s an example:

“There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.”

It was Peter Fitzsimons who quoted Chandler this morning.  Describing one of the women shipwrecked in the Batavia disaster in the 17^th century, he said “It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.”  Brilliant!

But, even better, Richard Fidler, the interviewer, came straight back with: "He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food". (Actually, he got it wrong but I’ve fixed it up for him.)

This is terrific stuff so I’ve picked out a few to learn and bring out on the appropriate occasion.  What do you think of these?

“You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.”

“The wet air was as cold as the ashes of love.”

“It seemed like a nice neighbourhood to have bad habits in.”

Hmmm!  Maybe just a touch pretentious.  I’ll stick to Yes Minister and Dad’s Army and take a courageous decision not to panic.

By the way, Sir Humphrey Applebey would be delighted with our Prime Minister's decision to set up a committee to investigate the issue of asylum seekers.  It's a classic Yes Minister ruse to make people think you are doing something when you are simply putting off the need for a decision until you get back from your six weeks' break.  Not happy, Jan! (or Julie).